Bible Verses NOT to Live By
75
Introduction
The following hub is a response to a recently published hub called 5 Key Bible Verses to Live By by hubber rtcomics. The hub can be found here: http://rtcomics.hubpages.com/hub/5-Key-Bible-Verses-To-Live-By
The basic gist of rtcomic's hub appears to be to present Biblical verses that are inspiring and offer good advice of how to live your life. The purpose of my hub will be to entirely ANNIHILATE the absurd assertion that the Bible is in ANY way a book that gives good moral advice. How am I going to accomplish this? The same way that rtcomics does, by presenting Bible verses which support my position.
Passage 1 - How to Sell Your Teenage Daughter
Pretty much the entirety of Exodus 21 could be presented as evidence against the Bible being “divinely inspired” but perhaps the most damning bit is the passage about selling your daughter into slavery. The 20th Chapter of Exodus lays out the 10 Commandments that Christians and Jews praise so readily, the chapter right after that has God openly condoning slavery and laying out his divinely inspired wisdom regarding how to keep, own, buy, sell and beat your slave. Exodus 21 7-9:
“If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter.” - NIV
Yes that's right folks, the divine and infinitely wise creator of the Universe condones slavery right in that wonderful, inspiring, and perfectly moral book known as the Bible. But as you may have guessed you probably shouldn't live by these verses, or any of the verses I'm going to discuss in this hub, doing so might just get you arrested. Apparently the moral depravity of considering a fellow human being as your property was lost on God for a long while, but don't worry, moral men like those in the Abolitionist movement, and Abe Lincoln, eventually set right God's mistake.
Passage 2 - Every Sperm is Sacred
The following heartwarming tale of moral advice from Christianity's favorite book comes from Genesis Chapter 38. The story probably needs some context, it involves Onan, his brother Er and his brother's wife. Er was wicked, and according to scripture God killed Er before his wife could give Er an heir. So, as culture dictated at the time, Onan was meant to go to Er's wife and make sure that she got pregnant so that Er, even though he was dead, would have a son. Onan didn't like the idea, so when he slept with Er's wife (Tamar by name), he decided at the last minute to pull out. God didn't like this one bit. Please keep in mind as you read this story that according to the Bible God is “the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
“But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so the LORD put him to death also.” NIV, Genesis 38 9-10
What a wonderful moral to this story eh? When attempting to impregnate the wife of your late brother every sperm is sacred, pulling out brings the penalty of being killed by the creator of the entire Universe.
Passage 3 - Rebel Yell
Honestly this hub is too painfully easy for me and it makes me wonder if rtcomics ever actually sat down and read the Bible in it's entirety. There are so many laws, morals, commandments, and stories that I could point out that I'm actually thinking of making this into a SERIES of hubs rather than just one response hub. Here's a bit of advice that should earn you a spot in the national news for a few days. Can you guess what the Bible suggests you do with a rebellious child? If you guessed murdering them than you'd be right!
The cherished text of the Good book reads as followed in Deuteronomy 21:18-21
“If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.”
This is another chapter where the WHOLE chapter could easily be put down here. Earlier in the same chapter they talk about how female prisoners of war, taken as spoils of war essentially, can be forced into marriage. Yes I'm sure there's plenty of apologetic tricks to get around this, fortunately for those of us with brains and a dash of compassion apologetics serve as no excuse. For more on when it's okay to murder your misbehaving child check out Leviticus 20 verse 9.
Passage 4 - Penis Envy
If there's one thing God is obsessed with in the Bible it's penises, that and blood-shed, but the two are not always mutually exclusive. The following wonderful statute can be found in Deuteronomy 25 verse 11 and 12. The phrase all's fair in love and war comes to mind, only the Bible attaches one caveat to that, one exception to the rule, all's fair except going for the penis in a fight.
“If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.”
The odd thing is that it's only the woman who is in trouble. Presumably if the two men were punching each other in their privates there wouldn't be an issue, but if the woman becomes involved SHE LOSES HER HAND! Harsh doesn't even begin to describe the pure barbarism in these two verses.
Passage 5 - The Miracle of Childbirth
Most Christian women seem oblivious to the sexism in the Bible and many Christians like to pretend that most of the sexism is in the Old Testament. This is hardly the case however when you really get down to it. Most people know all about the Apostle Paul's demand that women be silent in church. Few read on into that passage, however, to learn about Paul's method for how women can be saved. Keep in mind as you read that the writings of Paul are the earliest Christian writings we have, pre-dating any copies of the four Gospels.
“A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through CHILDBEARING—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.” Timothy 2: 11-15
Emphasis added of course. Well this certainly explains the Fundamentalist QUIVER-FULL movement that has emerged in the last few decades so strongly. After all women apparently achieve their spiritual salvation by bearing children, not by following Christ's teachings or being “born again” nope, just by making sure that some people get born the first time. So ladies you better make with the submission and husbands, especially if you're wife used to be your brother's wife, remember not to pull out!
Conclusion
This hub shows a few of the many examples of offensive, barbaric and terrible moral advice a primitive book like the Bible provides. Are there a few GOOD moral points in the Bible? YEP. But they are overshadowed by the sickening, grotesque and immoral ones. For a book that was supposedly inspired by a perfect God the Bible sure does have some serious issues.
Thanks for reading and I hope you never EVER heed the moral advice of the Bible, chances are if you're reading this you're a better person than that.
vote upvote downshareprintflag
- Useful (3)
- Funny (4)
- Awesome (3)
- Beautiful (1)
- Interesting (4)
CommentsLoading...
Passage 1 - How to Sell Your Teenage Daughter
Oh, my misinformed friend. The Bible does not condone slavery (in terms of what we think of as slavery). The slavery of the Bible was willful in order to pay off a debt. When people fell into a debt, they had the option of working it off (biblical slavery) or being jailed. About beating her, which the passage you cited says NOTHING about, there was no beating their slaves. They guaranteed that by not selling themselves to foreigners. They treated each other with dignity.
We probably should still live by that rule. It would make people think twice about needlessly splurging their finances; and we may have avoided the financial crisis that is affecting more and more of the world.
Passage 2 - Every Sperm is Sacred
Once again, you misinterpret the Scripture; and the answer is right under your nose. If you read the text again, it is obvious that it is not Onan's "pulling-out" that displeased the Lord, it was his neglect of fulfilling his responsibility to give his brother's wife children. It's not the sperm that was sacred, it was his responsibility.
The moral of the story is, we need to stay true to our responsibilities.
Passage 3 - Rebel Yell
If only I was your father and you were my child in OT times...
You have to understand that when God ruled directly over Israel sin was not tolerated. Although people had opportunities to confess and repent of their sins in the tabernacle daily, if they refused to do so they would be stoned.
This is an example of what is going to happen to unrepentant sinners in the judgment. A few verses talk about fire and "brimstone" being rained on them from heven. That will be the ultimately stoning.
The only difference between now and OT times is that God does not directly rule over His chruch, and punishment for sinners is delayed until Jesus' return.
Passage 4 - Penis Envy
That's not even what penish envy means. Anyway, I wouldn't want someone squeezing my balls either. That could disable me from having children for life. Could you blame God?
Passage 5 - The Miracle of Childbirth
About women being silent, that is because women ware asking their husbands questions in chruch and disrupting the sermon. You see, back then they had to sit across the aisle from each other in church. About women not teaching men, some interpret that to mean women are forbidden to be ministers.
There is some science behind that as well. It is because it takes one with a logical mind to perform ministerial duties. Men are naturally more logical than women and women are more emotional. Have you ever gotten into an argument with a woman? You can't win, no matter how logical you are.
About the childbreating, I would have to look into that. However, one thing is for sure, there is no different way of salvation for men and women. They Bible makes it clear that there is one way of salvation for all; so that scripture about childbearing must have a different interpretation than the one your're proposing. But that's insignificant since I've already refuted about 90% or your rant.
Awesome hub! You hit the nail on the head! The most popular path to atheism is, yep, reading the bible. I think you've done a great job showing us that.
And Greg, I only got to were you state that slavery in the bible was willful. Oh, you poor misinformed person you.
I love it! The bible is ridiculous! Sure, it might have a few good ideas thrown in, but I think a good book on morality would be a much better book to live by. Most of the Christians I know readily admit that they have not read the Bible in its entirity, and it shows. A poll by the Pew Forum found that atheists and agnostics know more about religion than Christians do. Voted up, and looking forward to reading the next hub in the series!
@Greg
Yes the God of the Bible condones slavery in the way I think about slavery. Slavery as in owning another human being as property, that's the primary definition of slavery. Slaves were also taken of prisoners captured during war AND slaves could be purchased from surrounding nations that dealt in slave trading.
It was not merely an indentured servant program as you wrongfully suggest.
Re-read Exodus 21, it talks about regulations on how you can beat your slave. It also says that if you beat your slave to death you must be punished BUT that if the slave recovers from the beating you are NOT to be punished because the slave is your property. Exodus 21 is meant to be coming right from the MOUTH OF GOD to Moses.
Congratulations on condoning the idea that those in debt should become slaves!
"it was his neglect of fulfilling his responsibility to give his brother's wife children."
Yeah, I know, and his pulling out directly led to him FAILING at that responsibility.
"You have to understand that when God ruled directly over Israel sin was not tolerated"
Except for all the times that sin WAS tolerated, like how David committed adultery and still lived to be an old man.
Way to go, you've just rationalized the brutal murder of a child! Trust me when I say your post reflects far more on you than it does on my hub.
"Could you blame God?"
Personally I don't believe in a God but according to Christians the Bible contains God's laws. He may be a fictional character from my perspective but that doesn't mean he's not a monster of a character.
So yeah, I can blame him. A woman is losing her hand just for grabbing a man's genitals in the middle of a fight, harsh doesn't even begin to describe it. If this happened to you in a fight would you allow the woman's hand to be chopped off? Even in my angriest state I could never see myself retaliating in such a brutal way, it's barbaric.
But what's barbaric and horrific to normal moral people is righteous and just punishment according to the God of the Bible.
The penis envy title was just to give the heading an interesting name.
" so that scripture about childbearing must have a different interpretation than the one your're proposing"
I'm not proposing any interpretation, I'm just looking at the text Greg. The Apostle Paul apparently suggests that a woman's salvation should come from silent submission and childbirth.
@AKA Winston
Easy picking indeed. Love the comment about the Three Stooges though to be honest I think I'd rather watch the Stooges than sit through a Shakespearean play ;)
@emmaspeaks
Thanks emmaspeaks, glad you enjoyed the hub.
Yep, if I hadn't read the Bible as a Christian I would have never become an atheist :D
@TMApsey
Thanks TMApsey, glad you have you aboard for what will hopefully be a fun series. I remember hearing about that poll a while back, it doesn't surprise me. In depth knowledge about religion tends to create atheists.
The Bible is a great book, when properly read and understood. It really is great, and God - is wonderful. www.harvestgathering.org
ALSO - there are versions of the Bible to avoid - nivheresy.com
Another awesome hub, Titen. As Winston observes, the Bible is incredibly easy pickings.
But what's even more important to note here is the utter absurdity of the claim that we can only get our morals from God (via the Bible). What is so easily demonstrated by your examples (and MANY, MANY others!) is that we begin with our own moral foundation, THEN pick and choose those things from religious teaching that fit into that moral structure (and not the other way around) -- and discard or ignore the rest.
What's even more outrageous is the semantic and philosphical gymnastics performed by folks like Greg, trying to rationalize the most evil, injust and ridiculous elements of the Bible. As moral beings, they're desperate to reconcile such obvious absurdities with their own humanistic knowledge of right and wrong, and usually fail.
Interesting hub. I have to respectfully disagree with you. I have posted a response at: http://rtcomics.hubpages.com/t/2cb3d9
Greg, you need to grow a pair of balls and think for yourself instead of repeating what you've "heard". Learning to read would be a start. Sorry that your mother never "taught" you to read. Since she probably would have been stoned for doing so, I don't blame her for not teaching you a damm thing.
Oh no. I am going to get in trouble at church . . . again. You killed it, bro!
How about the part in Deuteronomy where it says a wife can't kick her husband's adversary (in a fist fight) in the testicles when she jumps into the fray. I bet you hope they live by that one!
Think about it. It must have come up on the "trail" to the promised land. Two dudes were fighting, the wife came running over, kicked her husbands rival in the nads and closed the deal. The fight was over.
Later, when the swelling went down, the victim went to Moses and now it is a thing in the Bible.
Am I crazy, or is that how it got in there?
At the same time, your arms are too short to box with God.
@Preacher2003
No the Bible is not a great book, it's possibly the most overrated collection of books in history. And yes there are translations to steer clear of, such as the King James which mentions Unicorns.
@Paladin
Thanks Paladin. Yes it is sad to see folks defend the immorality of the Bible. I probably used to do the same thing when I was a Christian but that changed when I actually sat down and read the whole thing and realized just how large a portion of it was horrific.
@WD Curry 111
It's not that the rule about being punched in the junk is a bad one, it's that the penalty is too harsh. I can see there being a law about that, but getting her hand chopped off just for a low blow is barbaric.
I don't box with God because he's too busy playing dice with the Universe ;)
(Oh, my misinformed friend. The Bible does not condone slavery)
Dear Greg,
I know you are a believer and thus have confirmation bias toward this book ( we all suffer confirmation bias so I point this our as informative, not as condemnation), but at the same time some things are so crystal clear as to be laughable when denied. If nothing else, the following quote should cause cognitive dissonace in you:
"However, you may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way." (Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT)
Yep - great book if you are one of the "chosen", but not so great if you are one of the "unchosen". The book is a compilation of Jewish mythology, comparable to Greek mythology, as well as legends and folk tales.
The fact that this book describes a god that gives guidance on the abhorrent practice of slavery - which humankind has since unanimously rejected as consummately immoral - but was common during the ancient era in which these ideas were expressed only serves to reeforce the notion that not only was this particular god a creation of those ancient nomadic imaginations but the ideas expressed by them were simply a representation of what was held as common and normal practices in those times. In other words, nothing at all magical or supernatural about them at all.
Maybe we shouldn't read the Bible as a book of rules to follow, but rather as a love story meant to draw us into a relationship with a loving God.
@Christy Stewart
In that case the Bible fails even more spectacularly as it's "loving" God condones slavery and openly commits genocide, not to mention his plans to throw the majority of humans into the Lake of Fire. I'd sooner seek out a relationship with North Korea's new dictator, I'm sure he has a bit more compassion than the psychopathic deity the Bible depicts.
Christy - I tend to think of the Bible as the Soap Opera of its day. It's fiction of the highest order, extreme drama, it has all sorts of fanatical fans and tons of plot twists. Enjoy.
Being that I have had much experience with Southern Baptists, may I chime in? "If you are called as a slave, remain as a slave." (New Testament)
Also if an indentured servant works off his debt, and he loves his master and his household, he can pierce his ear and remain his master's slave. (Old Testiment)
Condon? Allow? Synonymous to a great degree. The real point. If God's love is flowing, any system works. I would rather be a slave on a Rice Plantation in coastal South Carolina where the "Masters" were kind, than work in a publicly traded American Corporation as an office manager.
Playing dice? Yeah, with a weighted set. They always roll his way.
AKA Winston Level 5 Commenter 4 months ago
Titen-Sxull,
It is so painfully obvious this book was written by humans who were limited in their knowledge that to try to present it as the ideas of an omniscient, omnipotent being is like calling The Three Stooges great Shapespearean actors.
Good work, but easy pickining.